And all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for
“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, so that He may lift you up at the appropriate time. Cast all your worries on Him, for He cares for you. 1 Peter 5: 5b-7 (TLV)
We recently said goodbye to our beautiful German Shepherd pup of 13 years. She loved our family well. When Lambeau first joined our family, her sister Madison did as well. We had two dogs to train and teach. One of the training strategies we learned at puppy school was how to settle. We would lay the pups on their sides, securing them with one hand on their shoulder and one hand on their back, and ask them to settle. The evidence of the submission was a giant exhaled breath. The pups would then be in a state of calmness and could be released to have fellowship with their people. Lambeau always settled easily. Madison took a little more time. She would lay there, but wouldn’t exhale. She might start to wiggle a little, look at you to see what you were doing, put her head back down, wait, but not exhale. If you let her up before the exhale, she would continue in her undisciplined behavior. Her tongue would hang out of her mouth like she was having the grandest time jumping all over people, but in truth, it separated her from the people she wanted so desperately to be with.
When I read this scripture, an image of a young child comes to mind—one who has dug her heels in and refuses to give in. Refuses to exhale that settling breath. A look at her inner thoughts would reveal that she would like to just crawl into her Father’s arms and receive grace, but her heels are dug in, and she does not want to admit she needs something outside of herself to bring the relationship she desires.
I recently began reading Upon Awakening by Jackie Hill Perry. I was challenged as she wrote, “Prayerlessness is almost always a humility issue–the natural consequences of a heart that tends to believe it is good without God…. Pride is the true enemy of your prayer life. Pride deludes us into thinking we’re self-sufficient. That our jobs supply our needs. Our relationships provide comfort. Our intellect and ambition make us successful. But in fact, everything you are and everything you have is because God rains on the just and the unjust (Matt 5:45)."
Sometimes in my life, I feel like that young child. My posture of humility is false. I appear humble, but secretly inside, I am full of pride. I am postured just like Madison. I’m lying there under the mighty hand of God, but refuse to exhale. Fear that is in opposition to faith is often the undercurrent of my pride. I think my way should be accepted, that my self-sufficiency will get me where I want to be, and my thoughts are high. Just like Madison, my tongue hangs out in a grand fashion foolishly thinking I am having the best time in a relationship but never getting into the proximity that I desire. Oh, how I need God’s grace!
For though Adonai is exalted, yet He looks upon the lowly, but the haughty He knows from afar. (Psalms 138:6) My desire is to fully know my Father in a close and intimate relationship. However, my pride keeps My Father at a distance. I miss knowing Him fully. Instead of casting my fears in His direction, I rely on myself. I refuse to settle under His mighty hand, to be lifted up appropriately, to remove the distance that keeps me in a relationship that is from afar. The mighty hand is a hand of deliverance. Humility is my rescue; it is the work of the hand of God. I need to exhale my surrender and wrap humility all around me. To embrace it and wear it around like a cloak.
Father, I surrender! I exhale my pride. I choose a close relationship with you. You are only good with ways higher than my ways. I have proven to be unreliable, but You have never failed. Wrap humility around me so that I may pull it in close. Secure it around me so that I may know You and be known up close by You. Don’t allow pride to enter into my heart to disrupt my relationship with you. Help me to recognize it when it tries to creep into my heart. Let your grace be my sufficiency.
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